


Intertwined Destinies

by dazeyhazer



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: F/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-13
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:44:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazeyhazer/pseuds/dazeyhazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeking her first taste of ale Elissa Cousland finds trouble and unwittingly lands herself in a rather compromising situation with a stranger she never thought to see again. Too bad the Blight had other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Been playing Dragon Age non-stop and this was one of the stories that came to mind. I have to warn you that this chapter is rough since I do not have a beta.

As the only daughter of the Teryn of Highever and the youngest child of three by all of ten minutes, Elissa Cousland was more than aware of her lot in life. Born into one of the most powerful families in all of Ferelden she was afforded advantages many could only dream of. As both a human and a noble there was no denying it. Hers was a blessed existence, one of immense privilege and honor.

Whilst she was thankful for her life, thankful for everything the Maker saw fit to bestow upon her, she was still in many ways trapped. Growing up under the ever-watchful eyes of the gentry there were a great many things she could not do. She knew it was a fair price to pay. For never being treated as anything other than equal. For never having to fear that she'll be taken away from her family for something she couldn't even begin to control. She was grateful, extremely grateful. But that did not mean she had to be completely complacent. Nor did it mean she had to always do what was told. Unlike her older brother Fergus and her fraternal twin Aedan, Elissa has always tested the line. Always saw fit to question rather than blindly follow. Even if doing so resulted in her doing some very stupid things. Like when at the tender age of five she refused to heed her fathers insistence she not handle a real blade until he deemed her ready and nearly severed her hand as a result. Or when she was ten and despite Nan's ever-stringent warnings about how ill it would make her she still snuck into the kitchen larder to gorge herself on sweets.

Although she always knew better, always knew she should listen, a part of her thrilled with every little act of rebellion. For it was all she could afford. She was a Cousland after all and though she may never always do what she was told, when it came down to it she would always do what was right, what was expected. No matter the cost she would always do her duty. Whether it was to her family, to her people or to her name.

So when she was forbidden from touching the drink her brothers seem to enjoy so much Elissa kept her curiosity at bay. While she may enjoy sparring with her brothers more than she did attending the parties and balls her mother insisted she attend she still had an image to maintain and it would simply not do for the people of Highever to see the barely eighteen year old daughter of their teryn sneaking out into one of the local taverns for a drink. It was unbecoming, completely undignified and outright improper.

It was only when she found herself in Denerim, accompanying her father during one of his visits to the court that she finally decided to utilize her relative anonymity in the spiraling capital in order to discover for herself exactly what it was all about. She only wanted a sip after all. What could possibly happen?

* * *

Dressed in light armor and equipped with her favorite twin blades Elissa stared up at the sign above her. Rather than doing the sensible thing and heading to the reputed Gnawed Noble she instead found her way to a lesser-known tavern located far away from anything remotely resembling respectability, one she was informed was barely a step up from the infamous Pearl. A fact in which suited her just fine. Especially since it was probably one of the last places her glorified babysitters would think to look for her.

Gathering her courage she opened the door and stepped inside. The moment she did she felt her eyes widen. Never had she seen such a sight. With naught a care for the conventions of propriety or very much of anything else for that matter, men and women alike danced and bobbed through the smoky tavern. There was practically something going on every table. With drinking games happening all over, bawdy tales being exchanged left and right and cards flying as hard and fast as the coin being gambled away on them. So far removed from what she was use to it was nearly enough to make her turn tail and run. She took a deep breath and looked straight ahead. Resolved to see this through she ignored what was going on around her and with a confident stride made began to make her way towards the bar.

"Now what's a sweet looking place like you doing in a girl like this?" slurred an obviously drunk man who suddenly stepped out in front of her. His stocky frame blocking her progress through the overwhelming sea of bodies.

Not wanting to make a scene she was just about to politely brush him off when he wrapped an arm around her.

"How 'bout I take you somewhere nicer my sweet?" he purred hotly into her ear.

With a barely concealed grimace she attempted to gently push him away. Had she a mind to it would've been so easy to forcibly remove him from her. For all their bluster her brothers had saw fit to teach her exactly how to overcome those who would see fit to use their size against her. But while she was seriously tempted to put what she was taught to good use she also knew that she couldn't. Not unless she wanted to draw unnecessary attention to herself.

So as civilly as she could she bit out, "I would appreciate it if you would so kindly remove yourself from me."

Obviously mistaking her pathetic show of struggle for an invitation she felt the hand that had just been resting on her shoulder move towards the swell of her breast.

"Get your hands off me now," she gritted out, any semblance of calm quickly evaporating.

When all she got was a dismissive laugh she growled. Like a switch her temper flared. Just as she was about to throw caution to wind and show him exactly what her brothers had taught her someone beat her to the punch. Too bad it wasn't literally.

"Let me go ye bastard," the drunkard angrily cried, pain etched all over his face as he struggled against the heavily armored man behind him.

"No. I don't think I will," the newcomer lazily drawled.

Far from strained he easily held the other man, firmly twisting his arms behind his back in a clearly debilitating hold.

"What do you mean no?" came the angry retort. "Let me go or you'll be sorry."

From the corner of her eyes Elissa saw more than a few men suddenly stop what they were doing. Some just so they could enjoy the impending fight while others so that they could not so subtly reach for their weapons.

"Well then you're a bit too late because I'm already sorry," was the newcomer's reply to the not so subtle threat. Oblivious to the trouble brewing around him he scrunched up his nose, light brown eyes squinting with barely concealed disgust as he added, "I'm pretty sure I've been around horses and dogs that have smelt better than you."

"Why you-"

It happened all in an instant. Before she could think about what she was doing Elissa hastily reached for the nearest object, which just happened to be an empty pint, and threw it hard at the coward she saw sneaking up on the only man in this whole Maker forsaken place to help her. Without a hint of hesitation she unsheathed her swords, eyes narrowing into slits as nearly six others decided to join the fray.

"Great isn't," the newcomer suddenly said, reluctantly releasing his captive to take his place beside her with sword and shield at the ready. "How a good fight brings people together."

"Yeah, great. Like one big happy murdering family," she blithely replied. Much to the amusement of her newfound companion if the chuckle she managed to elicit was of any indication.

"Oh, we're going to have fun with this one," one of the only two men who saw fit to come after her leered.

Accustomed to being underestimated Elissa merely smiled. Using her speed to her advantage she made it just in time to parry away a blow intended for her neck. Her swiftness clearly catching her attacker off guard she aimed a kick to his groin. Not giving him a chance to recover she finished with an incapacitating hit to the head before turning to his friend who, for all his eagerness, was far below even the most green of her father's knights. Easily blocking his charge she was able to slide under his guard and using her momentum to her advantage disoriented him with a hard punch to the face before bringing the hilt of her sword down on him in a punishing blow, the force of which sent him crumbling to the sticky ground right beside his friend, completely out cold. Ready to jump right back into the fray she quickly spun around. Only to find how entirely unneeded her intervention was. Barely breaking a sweat the man she'd somehow found herself fighting alongside easily dealt with the last of their attackers with a less than gentle smash from his shield.

Thoroughly impressed, even more so by fact he managed to do so without having to kill, she sheathed her swords and made her way over to him. When she sought to offer her thanks the almost forgotten drunk responsible for this whole mess interrupted her.

"See," the annoying drunkard who'd practically pawed her earlier cried. No doubt too far gone to have the sense to run off when he'd had the chance. "Stupid wench wanted me. 'lse I would be on the ground with the rest of these f-"

Not even giving him the opportunity to finish that sentence she struck him hard across the face, watching with satisfaction as he joined his merry band of sleeping beauties on the sticky tavern floors. That dealt with she turned back to the stranger before her and though she was interrupted once again it was an interruption she didn't mind nearly as much.

"Sorry for bringing you into this. Had I exercised a little more restraint this all could have easily been avoided," the stranger told her, scratching the back of his head with a rather sheepish look. "It's just that when I recognized the man accosting you like that I just kind of lost it."

"You know him?"

"Not but I have heard a lot about him. He and his little gang over there have been terrorizing the back alleys for weeks now, targeting some very young girls and not just so they could steal from them either," he informed her, any trace of good humor gone.

At that Elissa turned to the unconscious men with a murderous look on her face and though she knew none of them would be able to feel it began kicking them all again and again in the general vicinity of their groins. It may not be hurting any of them at the moment but it sure as hell made her feel a whole world better.

Anger well vented she turned back to the newcomer and gave him a serene smile, "So what do we do with them now?"

For a moment all he could do was stare, eyes wide with what looked like a rather unlikely cross between horror and admiration. Then upon realizing that she was still in fact waiting for an answer he gave a rather nervous cough and quickly said, "Um… I suspect that by now the city guards should be on their way."

"City guards?" she repeated with a frown.

While she was doubtful anyone would recognize her the last thing she needed was to draw any unnecessary attention to herself, especially if that attention came in the form of the same guards her father would have more than likely reported her missing to.

"Right," she nervously began, gaze flitting all the over the place as if expecting to be attacked at any moment. "I guess that's my cue to leave."

Turning on her heel she was just about to take off when she found herself halted by a rather loud and somewhat desperate, "Wait."

Not knowing why she stopped and tilted her head back.

Visibly wilting under the scrutiny of gaze he seemed to flounder for a moment before finally finding the nerve to blurt out, "I was just wondering what you were doing in a place like this."

Seeing his genuine curiosity she pointedly chose to ignore the fact he'd just basically asked her the same question the drunkard had posed to her and answered, "I just wanted a drink and this was the first place I happened upon."

"There are much better places you could have gone," he told her with a frown. "Much safer places."

"This is my first time in Denerim," she simply explained, using the overwhelming size of the capital as reason for her ignorance.

At that he gave her an understanding nod, accepting her words for what they were.

"Well, if you are still looking for a drink the place I'm staying is a little less lively," he offered, his cheeks becoming tinged with the slightest hint of color. "I mean it's not the Gnawed Noble, but it's respectable enough."

Unable to help herself she let out a scandalized gasp and somehow managing to maintain a straight face said, "I don't know what kind of women you're use to associating with but I assure you I am not that kind of woman."

Eyes widening he quickly defended, "What? No! That's not what I meant! I was only… I mean since I ruined your night I thought the least I could do is buy you a drink. I didn't…. I would never-"

As he continued to splutter Elissa found that she was unable to keep up the act any longer. She laughed.

"Wait, you were-" he gaped upon realizing she'd only been teasing him. With what was very close to a pout he relaxed with a muttered, "Oh, that was just mean."

"Well I guess I'm just going to have to buy you a drink to make up for it, aren't I?" she offered in apology.

It seemed her words had the desired affect. Instantly brightening he gave her a wide smile.

"I guess you are. I'm Al-" he began to introduce.

Quickly silencing him she placed a hand over his mouth, shaking her head as she said, "No names. Let's just be two strangers tonight, just two strangers sharing a drink, enjoying each other's company. No more. No less."

Despite his frown he gave his acquiesce in the form of a nod. It was only when she was sure he would adhere to her request that she lowered her hand again.

"Let's get going," she quickly said. "I want to be out of here before the guards arrive."

If he thought anything of her aversion of the guards he did not say. In turn when she took his hand and all but dragged him out she did her best not to mention the rather becoming shade of red his face had turned.

* * *

The moment Elissa Cousland woke up she found herself instantly wishing for a quick and painless death, anything to be rid of the incessant pounding in her head. With a pained moan she attempted to roll over, wanting nothing more than to return to the oblivion of sleep and forget her damnable curiosity for ale. Rather than the welcoming warmth of her spacious bed however she instead found her movements stilled by what suspiciously felt like a brick wall. A warm, breathing brick wall.

Annoyed and still more than half asleep she titled her head back, fully expecting to be met with the sight of her beloved Mabari Dog once again trying to lay claim to her half of the bed. What she found instead made her eyes instantly widened with a strangled gasp.

At the sight of the large, undeniably male human body beside her she immediately paled with a helpless murmur of, "Oh Maker, what have I done?"

Suddenly awake it only took a moment for her to realize she had no idea where she was. Although well kept the room she was in was a far cry from the one she occupied within the palace walls.

Panicked by the discovery she hastily stumbled out of the bed, bringing the sheets with her as her eyes widened with the enormity of what she'd done. As sheltered as she was Elissa knew well enough to be able to piece together exactly what happened. She was naked, completely and utterly naked. And while she was yet to check on the state of dress of her bedmate the feel of him pressed up against her just moments before, his whole body practically melded against hers like a second skin, was confirmation enough. Coupled with the traces of blood staining the sheets, the last remnants of her lost maidenhead, and the still very evident ache between her thighs there was absolutely no denying it.

"Argh 'uncan, let me die in peace," came a rather pitiful whine from the bed, one that was quickly followed by a rather forceful tug to the sheet that was only barely just covering her, the same sheet she'd practically wrapped around herself.

Not expecting the sudden movement she stumbled, the momentum of his tug causing her to come crashing back down, her naked body colliding rather spectacularly with his.

"What the…" she heard a clearly surprised voice exclaim.

In a desperate bid to preserve what little of her modesty in which still remained she hastily got back to her feet, wrapping the sheet tightly around her nakedness as she found herself suddenly faced with the light brown eyes and gaping mouth of her now very awake bedmate.

"Sweet Maker and Andraste's flaming sword!" he exclaimed his shock.

At that she couldn't help but take comfort in the fact she wasn't the only one taken aback by the turn of events. Just like her he was completely mortified. There was no gloating in his eyes. No smugness to be seen. Nothing but such genuine bafflement that she allowed herself to relax, if only just slightly.

Noticeable calmer she finally took the chance to look at him. With closely cropped hair and light amber eyes he was precisely the kind of man who would have had absolutely no problems setting a great many hearts aflutter. Every inch of him was muscled and toned to absolute perfection. From the hard planes of his chest, down to his chiseled stomach and lower. She reddened as she found her gaze being drawn further downwards.

"H-hey," he practically squeaked, voice raising an octave or two as he quickly grabbed the nearest pillow. He clutched it tightly to his body. Looking for the world like a scandalized maiden.

Embarrassed to have been caught staring and staring so blatantly Elissa hastily averted her eyes and in utter mortification murmured, "Oh Maker."

After a moment of silence he loudly cleared his throat and in a much deeper, much more composed voice remarked, "Maybe we should slow things down. Get to know each other a bit. Maybe have dinner. Go dancing. I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure my name isn't Maker. Not that I am not flattered because I am, extremely so. I mean how can I not be, especially when you're…"

Face reddening he gestured in her general direction with one hand while clutching the pillow to his body with the other like a lifeline. He gave her barely covered figure a lingering look, the intensity of which felt like an intimate caress across her skin, before finally raising his eyes to meet hers. The moment their gazes locked he promptly closed his mouth and swallowed.

With an apologetic and extremely embarrassed shrug he coughed out, "Right. Yes. So I'll just stop now. Foot in mouth you see, it is somewhat of a chronic disease with me. Not that I am diseased or anything. I mean I haven't… you know, and I've…"

He trailed off with an embarrassed sound.

"Okay I think I should just shut up before I really put my foot in it. Words are definitely not my friend at the moment or ever really. So yeah, shutting up right now."

Rather than being put off by his nervous ramblings Elissa couldn't help but find it somewhat refreshing. Especially after having grown up practically surrounded by more than her fair share of over inflated male egos. It was, dare she say, even a little endearing.

Needing to know what happened but dreading the answer she bit her lip and with much needed strength hesitantly asked, "Do you remember anything?"

"I- I was drinking, so I…" he nervously began, face becoming even redder. "I only remember bits and pieces. But not, um, anything too… um… well, you know." Flustered he quickly diverted the question back to her. "What about you?"

Although most of the night was a blur she remembered being pawed at by some drunk. She remembered being helped by him. Fighting alongside him. Then offering to buy him a drink. She remembered talking with him. Leaving the first tavern for another. After that it was all a blur.

"I really don't remember much either," she reluctantly admitted with a hint of shame.

Whatever reaction she'd been expecting it wasn't for him to instantly brighten and hopefully ask, "So does that mean it's possible nothing happened?"

While she also wished it to be true she couldn't help but be taken aback by his eagerness. Although she didn't know very much about men she was sure no man should be this happy at the thought of not having slept with a woman. Not unless he preferred the company of other men. Or he found the woman he was with lacking in some way. Suddenly self-conscious she took a step back and lowered her head. An action he must've noticed because his eyes instantly widened. No doubt remembering her ball crushing antics from the other night he clutched the pillow tightly over his groin, inching back slowly with a look of fear on his face.

"It's not that I don't find you desirable. I mean… look at you. You don't need me to tell you how incredibly beautiful you are. You are, by the way, incredibly beautiful. I would be fool not to want you," he blurted out in a rush. "It's just that I… I've been raised not to take this sought of thing lightly and I… I just never thought it would happen like this."

At those words he seemed to crumble.

"I… I wish I could tell you nothing happened," she honestly told him.

Although she'd essentially ruined herself with this man, this complete stranger, he was taking their joining harder than she was. It wasn't that she didn't care. She did. But there was nothing she could do. There was no way she could reverse it. No way to take it back. She was nothing if not practical and while she dreaded what troubles this would eventually cause her in the long run she knew there was no use crying over it. No use getting worked up over something she could not change. There was only one thing left for her and that was to look forward, to try and work out what next.

Knowing it wasn't going to make him feel better she avoided his gaze and with a steadying breath forced herself to continue, "But I am sore in places I shouldn't be and there's… I mean I… I bled."

At her words his eyes immediately widened.

"Maker's breath, did I hurt you?"

Touched by his concern and more than embarrassed by her admission she avoided his gaze with a shake of her head.

As if not quite believing her he allowed his eyes to roam once more. This time when they lingered they did not linger on anything other than the small splattering of blood visible on the edge of the sheet she held.

"But then what of the blood?" he questioned in worry.

She took a deep breath.

"I've been told that a woman bleeds the first time she lays with a man and that's how her husband will know if she has ever been with another before him," she reluctantly explained, embarrassment and shame reddening her cheeks to an almost impossible hue. She tried for a laugh that somehow ended sounding a lot more like a choke. "I guess it wasn't just another wives tale mothers tell their daughters to keep them in line."

"This is your-" he breathed out disbelieving. "You mean you've never…?"

Squeezing her eyes shut she shook her head again.

"I…" he began slowly to say, hesitating for a moment before finally adding, "Well in that case I guess I should tell you that I've never had the pleasure of um... ever praising anyone's Maker or buttering anyone's bread for that matter."

At that she snapped her eyes open, her whole face announcing her utter and complete disbelief. Bad puns aside there was no reason for him to lie. No reason for him to put his pride on the line by admitting his inexperience to her. Unsure whether to be mortified or relieved Elissa bit her lip and opted for silence.

"Not that I haven't thought about it," he continued, no doubt trying to fill the silence that had suddenly settle upon them. "I am still a man after all. It's just that growing up as I did I was taught to be a gentleman."

He gave her a crooked smile.

"I was also told that I'd be struck by lightning for this. Not sure if I believe that one but I have yet to go outside so the possibility is still there."

When she said she did not remember how they came to be as they were she spoke the truth. She did not. What she did remember however was how much she enjoyed herself in his company. She had found him to be extremely kind and oddly charming in spite of his awkwardness. It was why she was able to maintain her calm. For despite everything she was certain he didn't take advantage. She truly believed he had been as wrecked on the drink as her. With this in mind she didn't have to think very long about her next course of action. Even though she could not remember what had happened she would still reap the consequences. However, unlike all the times before she would be forced to face the consequences without any of the satisfaction. She frowned at the unfairness of it all. If she was to be condemned for it anyway she should at least be able to enjoy herself.

"It's clear neither of us wanted this," she concluded, feeling her cheeks heat up at what she was about to do. "And neither of us can remember what happened."

She paused.

"I don't know about you but I do not want this right here to be the only memory I have of my first time."

Looking more than a little confused he slowly asked, "What are you saying?"

With a deep breath she gathered all the courage she could spare and made her way towards him. She stopped by the bed and in a breathy voice said, "That we should make the best of a bad situation. I mean if you are to be struck by lightning anyway you should at least be able to remember what for."

That said she dropped the sheet, desperately fighting the instinct to instantly cover herself again as climbed onto the mattress beside him, completely naked. As she moved his eyes remained resolutely on her face, his own becoming redder and redder by the second as she practically crawled over to him. She stopped when her knees touched his and reached out. But instead of trying to pry away the pillow in which served as the only remaining barrier between them she nervously took a hold of his hand. Her own trembling as she guided it to rest on the curve of her breast.

Far from the seasoned seductress she was attempting to play Elissa shuffled uncomfortably at his lack of reaction. Not quite sure what she was doing wrong she frowned. In all her inexperience she'd fully expecting him take over. To kiss her, touch her, to do anything other than just stare at her with those wide shocked eyes of his. Suddenly losing her nerve she bit her lip and gave him a questioning look.

"You…" he spluttered.

Never one to quit so easily she continued guiding his hand over her flushed skin. An action which made him gulp. Hard. His eyes slowly lowered. Drifting down to where he touched her, to where his hand still rested. With a shuddering breath he moved, allowing the tip of his fingers to gently trace the curve of her breast, tentatively brushing the hardened tip of her nipple as he caressed her.

At her sudden intake of breath he lifted his eyes to meet hers. His own wide and uncertain.

Acting on impulse she closed the distance between them, capturing his lips in a searing kiss as she wrapped her arms around him. At the feel of the pillow that still sat between them she made to pull it away, only to have her efforts suddenly halted by a warm calloused hand.

"If this is to be my only memory I do not want it to be with a stranger," she heard him say.

Allowing her gaze to burn a path from where his hand held hers, up the muscled length of his arm and over his shoulders to the tense set of his jaw line she met his determined gaze with one of her own.

Confused and more than a little frustrated she questioned, "You're stopping this?"

"Maker have mercy on me but I am a weak, weak man," he breathed huskily, sounding every bit as weak as he claimed. "I can no sooner stop this than I can stop myself from breathing."

"Then-"

"Your name," he insisted with a hint of desperation. "Tell me your name."

A smile tugged at her lips. Without another word she kissed him again, her lips yielding readily under his as she took advantage of his sudden preoccupation to finally wrench the blasted pillow away and press herself to him.

"Sweet Maker," he gasped at the feel of her.

Pleased at his reaction she allowed herself a small smirk as she murmured against his lips, "As flattered as I am my name is Elie."

For a moment he did little more than stare at her. Then upon realizing what she'd just offered him gifted her with a warm smile she did not deserve.

"Alistair. My name is Alistair," her uttered before finally taking the initiative and claiming her lips. His whole body melded against hers he gently pushed her back, pressing her down to the bed as he practically devoured her with the heat of his need.

* * *

While Elissa Cousland was many things she never considered herself a coward. Yet, as she allowed herself one last lingering glance at the form on the bed she'd occupied only moments before, she felt like one. If she weren't she would not have waited for him to fall asleep to leave. If she weren't she would have stayed long enough to bid him a proper farewell. To tell him how wonderful he was and that if things had been different she wouldn't have minded having that dinner with him or taking him up on that dance. If she weren't she would have given him her name. Her real name. Her full name.

With a regretful sigh she pulled the door closed behind her, a 'goodbye' on her lips as she reluctantly made her way back to the palace. Back to her father who would no doubt have more than a few words waiting for her. Back to her life. Back to being Lady Cousland, the ever dutiful daughter of the Teryn of Highever.


	2. Chapter 2

It was frightening how fast things can change. How all in one night the life she spent so long wishing to be free of, the life she often dreamt of escaping, would be the life she yearned for so completely it hurt.

It was gone now. All of it.

Had she the luxury Elissa Cousland would not move. She would just stop. Not do anything but scream and cry for everything she's lost. For the family she would never see again. For the home forever tainted by a betrayal that burned so deep she felt the very last remnants of her childhood shatter with a cry for vengeance so profound it absolutely refused to go unheeded.

As if sensing her distress her Mabari Dog gently nudged her with his muzzle. Distractedly she reached down to gently pet him, his attempt at comfort doing very little to ease the turmoil threatening to tear her apart. Even now it haunted her. The sight of her father's broken body, of Oren and Oriana drenched in a pool of their own blood, of her mother standing before them – bow at the ready as she braced herself for a battle she knew she could not win. A battle she was determined to fight in order to defend their father and buy both her and her twin brother enough time to escape. To leave with the Grey Warden Duncan before Howe's men could even think to follow them.

It killed her to go, to run away while everyone she ever loved and cared for perished, but in the end that was exactly what she did. What they both did.

Overcome by the weight of her own guilt she came to an abrupt stop. Before she knew what was happening she found herself bent over, stomach turning violently as she threw up what little still remained in her.

"Are you okay? Do you need to rest?" her brother Aedan quickly asked – the worry clear in his tone.

Wiping away the sick from her mouth she turned on him. Like a dam she felt something inside her break.

"We shouldn't have left them," she found herself saying, her eyes filling with the tears she'd so far been able to keep at bay. "We should have stayed with them. We should-"

"And what? Allow ourselves to be captured? To be killed or even worst be kept alive to suffer in the hands of our captors?" Aedan bit back fiercely. He closed the distance between them, gripping her arms tightly as his face twisted with the grief she only knew too well. "There was nothing we could have done Elissa. Father was right. He would not have made it past the strain of standing. We could not have taken him with us… and mother…"

He trailed off, his eyes filling with the tears he only barely managed to blink away.

"Mother made her choice," he choked out, voice shaky with emotion. "She chose to remain with father. She chose to stay so that we may live. She made her choice Elissa and now we must live with ours."

"I know," she cried helplessly. "I know. It's just… they are all dead Aedan. Everything we have ever known is gone. What do we do now? How do we go on?"

"We are Couslands sister," he reminded her in a tone so reminisce of their father she wanted to cry. "We will not be defeated by this. We will carry on. We will do our duty by joining the Grey Wardens and defeating the darkspawn. We will do what Howe would see fit to deny us. We will live. We will flourish and make sure that our name, our family is never forgotten."

Close to breaking she fell against him, hands clenched tightly against the plate of his armor as she let out a broken sob. She felt his arms around her and ignoring the sharpness of his plate allowed herself the comfort of his embrace. It was in his arms that she finally broke, her eyes flooding with tears as her whole body wracked with sobs so violent she trembled with the force of them.

"Forgive my intrusion. I know this is hard on the both of you but we must make haste if we are to make it to Lothering before nightfall," Duncan gently interrupted – head bowed in silent apology.

Pulling away Elissa wiped her tears and silently nodded her agreement. While she was certain they were no longer being pursued she knew that they needed to get going. To make their way to Ostagar so that they may inform the king of Howe's treachery and Maker willing, find their older brother Fergus safe and unharmed. Her determination giving her strength she began to walk.

Barely managing a step she staggered, the whole world spinning around her like a whirlwind as she found herself falling. Her legs gave out from right under her.

"Elissa," she heard her brother cry in panic.

It was the last thing she heard before she was completely lost to darkness.

* * *

Having spent the last few days of their travels sleeping wherever they could afford to stop Elissa frowned upon finding herself wrapped within the comfort of a warm bed and thick blankets. Suddenly wide-awake she quickly shot up and looked down at herself. To her immense relief it was to find that she was still very much dressed.

Before she had the chance to do little more than give the room a cursory glance the door opened.

"I see you are finally awake," an unmistakably feminine voice said.

At the sight of the redhead dressed in Chantry robes she immediately stilled.

"Your brother will be extremely relieved to hear that you are well," the woman she could only assume to be a cloistered sister began. With a cup in hand she entered the room and making sure to keep a careful distance, held it out to her in offering.

More than a little wary Elissa gave the cup a suspicious look. It was only upon realizing that it was filled with water did she finally accept the drink.

"Let me introduce myself. I am Leliana, one of the Lay sisters here in the Chantry," the sister simply said. "Your brother speaks very fondly of you Elissa. I am glad you are awake. I do not think Aedan would have the heart to depart for Ostagar had he not had a chance to speak to you before he was to leave."

Upon hearing those words she immediately straightened.

"What do you mean not have a chance to speak with me?" Elissa demanded, a frown marring her brows at the very implication. "He will have every chance to speak with me. How can he not when I am to go to Ostagar with him?"

"I see," the sister, Leliana, replied with a frown of her own. "I had assumed that you were aware."

"Aware of what?" she repeated in confusion.

For a moment there was nothing but silence.

"Forgive my evasiveness but I do not think it is my place to say," was her apologetic reply.

Not in the least bit pacified Elissa narrowed her eyes and was just about to demand an answer from her when she was suddenly interrupted by yet another arrival.

"Thank the Maker."

Before she could even turn strong arms wrapped around her, encasing her within an embrace she knew only too well.

"I will leave you to it," Leliana politely excused, a smile on her lips as she departed with a soft click of the closing door.

"I was so scared I would lose you as well," Aedan admitted, breath catching on what sounded suspiciously like a sob as he held onto her tightly. "Everyone kept telling me that you were unhurt but I could not help but fear the worst."

"Careful brother," she teased with a crooked smile. "If you keep this up I may come to think you've grown soft on me."

"In your dreams Pup," he returned just as teasingly.

Thankful for the moment of levity she pulled away from him and countered with a light, "Maker bless. Else I would have to seriously wonder whether or not you've been truly possessed."

Dryly he drawled, "Ha. Ha."

Her smile widened.

"Right," she began in a noticeably lighter mood. "So now that we have established you are still the same big mean bully I've always known let's go find my armor and blades so that we may get out of here and continue on to Ostagar."

When not a hint of a response came she turned to him with an expectant look. Still he did not reply.

Unable to take his silence for a moment longer she questioned, "Aedan?"

He sighed.

"I am afraid only I will be going to Ostagar with Duncan," he finally saw fit to inform her.

At his words her temper instantly flared.

"Don't you dare Aedan Cousland, don't you dare even think to leave me behind," she angrily snapped. "I am more than capable of looking after myself and you damn well know it. I will demonstrate how capable this instant if you dare condescend me with some sorry line about keeping me safe you big idiotic lug."

"It's not only you I'm worried about," he returned with just as much heat.

"Then what is it?" she demanded, her voice barely below a shout. "What in all of Thedas can you possibly be worried about? It was father's dying wish for us to become Grey Wardens and I'll be damned before I let your fool-"

"For once in your Maker forsaken life would you just shut up and listen," he all but shouted, leaving her suitably shocked by his sudden outburst. As the more rational and thoughtful of the two he hardly allowed his temper to get the better of him. It was a rare sight indeed to see her brother so worked up. She would have been impressed had his next words not been, "There is no way you can become a Grey Warden."

Her shock quickly turned into anger.

"Why the hell not?" she snapped.

Of all the things she thought to hear him say the very last thing she expected was, "Because you are destined to become something even greater."

Seeing her confusion he gave her a smile.

"A mother Elissa, you are to become a mother."

"You're kidding right?" she immediately replied, the disbelief clear on her face. When all she received in return was a frown she scowled. More than certain he was having her on she demanded with a steely, "Stop joking around and tell me the real reason."

His frown deepened.

"I am not making light of anything," he carefully told her. "You are pregnant. Two months at best if the healer is to be believed."

She paled.

"No. You can't be serious," she blurted out, voice trembling as she shook her head in silent denial.

This could not be real. It just couldn't.

"Please tell me that you are jesting Aedan. Please."

For a moment not a word was spoken.

"Maker," came his troubled murmur. He gripped her arms. Forcing her to meet his gaze he pleaded with a hint of desperation, "I beg you Elissa. Do not tell me that this was forced upon you. I do not know what I would do if it were so."

Upon realizing what he was asking of her she quickly averted her eyes and though it made her burn with shame truthfully told him, "No. Maker no."

Swallowing the lump in her throat she forced herself to continue.

"I was willing," she reluctantly admitted.

As soon as the words left her mouth she felt her whole body tense. Silently she braced herself for the recriminations to come, but they never did.

"I'm so-" she tried to say but before she could even finish uttering the words she found herself once again enveloped in his arms, the suddenness of the action stealing her very breath.

"Thank Andraste," she heard him murmur.

Confused and more than a little emotional she carefully asked, "You're… you're not angry with me?"

"No, you saucy minx," he answered, releasing her and stepping back to gift her with a warm smile. "I'm relieved. Just incredibly relieved."

"But-"

"How this came to be matters naught. This child is a blessing Elissa. A true blessing. Especially after all we have lost," he interrupted gently. At that his eyes flickered. His expression becoming pained as he no doubt thought about every single last one of those losses. While they all hurt equally she knew that one stood out above the rest. Oren.

He took a deep, steadying breath.

"We do not know what has become of Fergus," he continued. "For all we know we may be it Elissa, the last of the Couslands."

His eyes drifted down to her still flat belly.

Determined he stated, "We cannot let the Couslands die with us. We cannot risk you or this child."

"What of the Right?" she argued desperately.

Even though she could see the sense in his words she just couldn't bring herself to accept it. While she was more than confident in her brother's abilities she hated the thought of not being with him.

"While Duncan remains elusive I am certain there is more to becoming a Grey Warden than we know," he informed her with a frown. "When we discovered your condition he was extremely disturbed by the very idea of you continuing and more than readily agreed to release you from the Right."

Eyes widening she grabbed his arm and tried to hold back the tears.

"I do not have to be a Grey Warden to go with you," she pleaded. "Do not leave me here Aedan. I beg you."

"It is too dangerous. If something was to go wrong..." he trailed off with a troubled look. "You are the only family I have left Elissa. I will not risk you."

"No. You can't do this to me. You can't just leave me," she cried in her distress.

Gently he placed his hand over hers and with a seriousness she never thought possible said, "In all our years I have never asked anything of you but I will ask this of you."

"No. Please no. I can't lose you as well," she protested.

"You won't lose me. I will be back. No matter what happens I will find my way back to you," he promised her. He gave her a sad smile. "Besides I've long gotten used to being an uncle and I'm looking forward to becoming one again."

At that she crossed her arms over her stomach, eyes lowering as she finally allowed herself to think of the life she carried within her. The child she had unknowingly created with a man she hardly even knew. Even now, as the reality of it finally began to sink in, she still did not know how to feel.

"I…" she began to say.

At that moment she wanted nothing more than to scream at him. To demand he take her with him. To demand he not join the Grey Wardens and instead stay with her. Duty be damned she just wanted him safe. But she did none of those things. She could not. Because in the end she was still a Cousland and Couslands always do what must be done, what was right. For all her misgivings she knew that Aedan's place was with the Grey Wardens and while she desperately wanted to follow him she knew that she couldn't. Not now. As conflicted as she was she couldn't risk it. She couldn't risk this child, this innocent. This life she was now responsible for.

She took a deep breath.

"So help me Aedan, if you do not live to see this child take its first breath I will hunt you down in the Fade and drag your sorry arse back to Thedas just so I can kill you again for breaking your promise to me," she threatened, unable to do a thing to stop the tears from falling as she tightened her grip on his arm.

"If I do I swear I'll find a way back myself just so that you can punish me as you see fit," he returned in a shaky voice.

She wasn't quite sure who moved first but before she knew it she found herself crushed within his arms, her own wrapped tightly around him as she held on as if her life depended on it. With a choked sob she felt his whole body tremble and this time when she cried she did not cry alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Not wanting to impose on the kindness of the Chantry for longer than necessary Elissa was quick to find her way to Dane's Refuge in the days following Aedan's departure. Even with of the success of Ferelden's armies – having defeated the darkspawn twice with another victory all but assured – there were still those who thought it best to leave their homes while the battles continued to rage. Intent on returning only when it was finally over. Although they were few, as many were certain of the King's triumph in Ostagar, there were enough to warrant the establishment of a small refugee base within the village's center. Set up near Dane's Refuge, which in itself served as the main congregation point for the few refugees filtering into Lothering and more importantly for the many travelers bringing word of Ostagar, it served the purpose of housing those who were unable to afford lodging anywhere else. While the Chantry was by no means far from either Elissa much preferred her lodgings at Dane's, which afforded her the freedom to come and go as she pleased without having to deal with any pitying or outright disapproving looks of those around her.

"Mind if I join you?"

Distracted from her intense study of the mystery stew in front of her she lifted her head to find herself greeted with the vaguely familiar Chantry sister before her – the one she met only briefly all those days ago when she first awoke. In spite her wariness she grudgingly shook her head in acquiesce.

"Was there something you needed of me?" Elissa questioned the moment the other woman had settled, having taken the seat across from her without the need for any further prompt.

"I have decided to leave the Chantry," was the reply she got.

With a perplexed look she frowned and admitted, "I didn't know you could do that."

"I joined the Chantry to lived a life of religious contemplation but I am neither a priest, nor an initiate," Leliana patiently explained, no doubt having long gotten use to explaining herself and the nature of her situation many times over. "I am free to leave whenever I please."

"And you have come to me because?" she asked in clear confusion. Not quite sure where this conversation was going and even more uncertain as to whether she was going to like its direction.

"It is Maker's will I accompany you," she answered with not even a single hint of jest.

Unsure of what to do in the face of such earnestness Elissa shifted uncomfortably.

"I know it sounds insane and I'm not quite sure I understand it myself but I had a dream… a vision. There was darkness everywhere, so dense and thick, consuming everything within its path," she continued, her explanation doing very little to assure. "Afterwards, when I woke I went to the Chantry's garden as I always do. But that day the rosebush in the corner had flowered."

She paused, her expression becoming almost reverent.

"Everyone knew that bush was dead. It was twisted and gnarled, the ugliest thing you'll ever see but that day there was a single beautiful rose. It was as if the Maker was trying to show that even in the darkness there is hope."

"There is hope," Elissa reassured, her own faith refusing to waver. "With our armies and the Wardens in Ostagar, but not with me. Especially not in my condition."

"I…" Leliana seemed to hesitate. Despite the look in her eyes suggesting otherwise she gave a small nod and said, "I suppose you are right." A pause. "But if you do not mind I still wish to accompany you while you await your brother's return."

Not quite certain how respond to such a request Elissa frowned. While her common sense screamed at her not to accept the obviously disturbed woman's request she found herself incapable of turning her away. Her frown deepening she asked, "Why? Why do you believe it is the Maker's will that you remain with me?"

"Because the moment I saw the rose was the same moment you and your brother appeared."

At her answer Elissa allowed herself a small smile. While she did not know what this dream Leliana spoke of meant it or even if she believed it truly a vision she honestly did not care.

"Then there is your answer," she told the other woman, certain of her own interpretation. "If the Maker was trying to tell you anything it is that with my brother within their midst, our armies and the Grey Wardens will no doubt be victorious in Ostagar."

Not looking entirely convinced Leliana frowned.

"That being said I could really use the company," Elissa carefully offered.

"I… would really like that," came the grateful reply.

* * *

The first time she saw him it was during one of her very first outings. With more than a little cajoling she'd managed to convince Leliana into accompanying her outside the boundaries of Lothering. Just out far enough to find the elfroot needed for poultices. It was how she found her way to the North gates and where she first stumbled upon the rather curious sight. The moment she saw him she frowned. Even caged as he was he remained as tall and proud as any knight, every bit a warrior even within the confines of captivity.

"The Revered Mother said he slaughtered an entire family," Leliana saw fit to inform her as they passed. "Even the children."

At that her frown deepened. There was no doubt in her mind that death was what he was awaiting and though she felt it deserved she couldn't help but wonder how long they were going to hold him for. How long were they going to keep him before finally putting him to his fate?

Without prompting the answer to her question came in the form of Leliana's sympathetic, "To be left to starve or taken by the darkspawn. No one deserves that. Not even a murderer."

"Are you telling me they mean to leave him to his death in that cage?" she questioned in her incredulity.

"It is in the Maker's hands now," was the reply she received and though it clearly troubled her Elissa saw the quiet acceptance in the eyes of her companion, the unquestioned faith and belief despite her own doubts concerning the cruelty of such a punishment. "It is what the Revered Mother wills."

Although she'd become fond of Leliana she couldn't help but remain somewhat wary of her. Not wanting to bring about an argument she kept her silence. It was only later, long after she'd returned from their little expedition and making a quick trip to the Chantry did she find her way back to the cage. While she knew it was not her place she went to speak to the Revered Mother. Though she thought he deserved death for his crime she did not agree with the cruelty in which it was being dealt. But despite her urgings to either allow him to atone for his sins or grant him the mercy of a quick death the Mother refused to budge. Not quite sure what possessed her to do so she decided to make use of the many hours of training in stealth both her parents and brothers saw fit to put her through. Thankful for the cover of night she gripped the scrap of bread and cheese she managed to scavenge from the kitchens of Dane's Refuge and cautiously approached the cage.

"Who's there?"

Without a word she slipped the morsel between the bars and like a shot made a hastily retreat, refusing to slow down until she was finally back at the inn and within the confines of her room. Though she knew the chance of the proud warrior actually accepting her offer was slim she knew she couldn't just sit around and do nothing. It may not be her place but she was determined to ensure that if death were to come to him it would be on the edge of a blade and not through the torture of starvation.

* * *

In the days to follow Elissa made sure to leave some food for the caged Qunari. Something she managed to do every night without being discovered. Between that and practically devouring every bit of news no matter how insignificant to filter in of Ostagar she found every opportunity to practice and hone her skills, refusing to be bundled away like some kind of invalid. Despite what many seem to think being pregnant did not mean she was helpless and she refused to be treated as such. More than that she refused to become a burden. Not to her brother. Not to anyone.

Gripping the bow tightly she took careful aim before quickly releasing the string. With a frustrated sigh she watched as the arrow hit just outside its mark, finding the ground instead of the tree she was targeting. Although she was determined to protect herself she knew she couldn't fight as she usually did. As loathed as she was to admit it there was no way she would be able to use her twin blades. Despite her proficiency and skill it was simply too dangerous for her to engage in such close range combat. While the slightest mistake wouldn't mean her life it could mean the life growing within her and that was not a risk she was willing to take. Wishing she had paid more attention to the archery lessons growing up she picked up another arrow and readjusted her aim.

"Widen your stance a bit and try not to bend your arm so much," she heard a familiar voice say.

Doing as instructed she shifted her legs and straightened out her arm. Taking a moment to adjust to the slight change in positioning before taking another shot. When this time her aim struck true, the arrow embedding deep in the base of the trunk, she turned to greet the new arrival with a grateful smile. Having spent most of her time in the company of the other woman, listening to tales from every corner of Thedas and learning of what life was like for a bard in Orlais, she would have recognized Leliana's voice anywhere.

"You're late," she playfully accused, even though they weren't scheduled to meet until much later. While her mother's wish to keep her away from the frontline meant she certainly knew how to wield a bow she was far from the level she needed to be. So on discovering that aside from being a truly masterful storyteller her newfound companion was also an extremely formidable archer she all but begged for her help. Since then they have spent nearly every afternoon on Barlin's farm. The use of which was afforded to them for as long as they provided him with poisonous traps.

Expecting her to respond in kind to the light jest Elissa frowned when all she received was a troubled look in return.

"I-" Leliana began, seeming to hesitate over her next words as she carefully avoid her gaze.

Immediately sensing that something was amiss she swallowed down the lump in her throat. Uncaring of where it landed she dropped the bow, hastily crossing the short distance between them to ask with great anxiety, "Was there word of Ostagar?"

At the silence that greeted her she bit her lip.

Unable to take the wait a moment longer she urged, "Whatever it is please tell me. I need to know."

"Ostagar has fallen," came the solemn reply.

As soon as the words registered Elissa gasped in a breath, her heart pounding wildly in her ears as she fought the sudden panic threatening to overwhelm her. Refuse to allow her emotions get the better of her she forcibly shook her head and demanded, "What of King Cailan? The Wardens?"

For a moment there was nothing but silence.

"They… they say the Wardens led the king to his death. That he was too blinded by his trust in them to realize the danger he was in, the danger they put him in," Leliana finally continued, her sadness and disbelief clear as she relayed the news. "It was an absolute massacre. There has yet to be word of any survivors but they are calling the Wardens traitors. King slayers."

"This can't be," she fervently denied. The Wardens' sole purpose was to stop the Blight. There was no way they would've risked all their men so frivolously, so needlessly. It didn't make sense. None of it did. Needing answers she demanded, "Tell me who is this 'they' you speak of?"

"Teryn Loghain and his men."

Desperately trying to make sense of everything she furrowed her brows. "Then how did they survive? If all the king's men and even the Wardens were all but lost how in the Maker did the Teryn and his men manage to survive?"

"It's been said that when he saw the slaughter he withdrew his men and quit the field," Leliana explained grimly.

"That filthy coward!" Elissa spat out angrily.

Just thinking of all the men that were left to their deaths – of her brother in the thick of it all, fighting for all he was worth as he waited for the salvation that would never come – she felt her whole body tense with rage. In that moment she couldn't help but despise the man. Despise him with her every being. Had her father been alive he would never have let this happen. Had her father been alive he and all of Highever would've rather faced the slaughter than abandon their king to death.

"They are at the Maker's side now," Leliana assured her – her faith unwavering even in the face of such senseless death. "I am sure Aedan has found peace in eter-"

Eyes narrowing she snapped, "Don't!"

At her outburst Leliana frowned, the concern evident in her expression as she tentatively replied, "Your bro-"

"No. Aedan still lives," she declared with absolute certainty.

When all she received in return was a pitying look she growled.

"You can believe that the Maker spoke to you through a vision but you dare doubt me when I tell you that my brother still breathes," Elissa found herself demanding. Unable to feel the slight twinge of betrayal at having her words so easily dismissed. Not knowing what else to say or even how to explain why she was so certain, why in her heart she was sure her brother survived when so many did not, she shook her head and fiercely declared, "I would have felt it. If he were truly gone there is no way I wouldn't have known. He is still alive, I know it and he will come for me."

Without waiting for a reply she stalked pass her. Easily navigating the height of the fence Elissa quickly began the short trek back to town. The moment she reached the gates she found herself coming to an abrupt halt at the sight to greet her. Where just this morning there were only one or two tents erected to temporarily house these precautious few there now stood more than ten. Many of which were already occupied by what looked like whole families. Bundled together with the meagre belongings they were able to savage. Their faces drawn and weary, looking completely drained and more than a little worst for wear.

"Maker," she breathed helplessly.

Desperately needing to know more she quickly made her way towards Dane's Refuge. As she passed the caged Qunari she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder with a cry of, "Elissa."

Although all she wanted to do was brush off the hand she knew she could not. Instead she turned to come face to face with Elder Miriam. Someone she had quickly become acquainted with due to the woman's efforts to organise the few refugees in Lothering.

"Please tell me that you still have some poultices remaining?"

"I have plenty," she replied with a frown.

Despite having spent a good a few afternoons gathering elfroot with Leliana she had done so more for an excuse to get out of town than for any real need.

"What is wrong? Do you have need of them?"

"Unfortunately yes," Elder Miriam answered with a grim expression. She sighed sadly. "A great many were caught unaware by the darkspawn while others were injured on their way here by bandits."

Not needing to hear anymore Elissa nodded and quickly offered, "I will go get them immediately."

Without needing another word she hastily made her way to Dane's Refuge. Not expecting to find the place so crowded she carefully navigated her way through the throng of people, towards the stairs and into her room. Quickly finding the stash of poultices she rushed back out.

"Thank goodness," Elder Miriam said the moment she returned. Then giving her a slow, measuring look ordered, "Come with me."

In spite of her confusion Elissa dutifully followed. Eager to help in any way she could. When they came to a stop before the door of an unfamiliar cottage, situated not too far from Barlin's farm, she frowned as Elder Miriam knocked.

The instant she stopped the door opened to reveal a middle-aged woman with greying hair and sharp assessing eyes. "Oh thank the Maker, were you able to get the poultices?"

"Yes," Elder Miriam replied as she stood aside to reveal Elissa standing behind her with an armful of poultices.

As her gaze met that of the strange woman by the door she tilted her head to the side at suspicion look directed her way.

"Your eldest daughter saw to her when she arrived," Elder Miriam went on to explain, sparing her a reassuring glance before returning her attention to the other woman. "I am certain that she will not reveal either of them."

Although she was unsure of what exactly was going on she got enough to surmise that the healer who saw to her resided beyond the doors. Curious to meet the one who had helped her and despite not quite understanding the true meaning behind her own words Elissa immediately promised, "I swear I will not do anything to hurt your daughters."

For an excruciating moment she was almost certain that she would be sent away.

"I guess we can use the extra help," the woman reluctantly conceded before finally stepping aside to allow them entry.

Deciding it best to leave the questions for later she followed Elder Miriam inside. At the sight of the injured, so many of them lain all over in the small space of what was the living area she couldn't help but feel a lump in her throat. Images of her brother, possibly lying somewhere hurt and alone instantly bombarded her. Unwilling to even entertain the thoughts for a moment longer she shook her head. As if by doing so could rid her of all the doubts and fear that plagued her. Needing a distraction she continued her perusal of her surroundings. The moment she spotted the young woman, her dark brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail as a gentle glow illuminated from the palms of her hands she immediately understood the other woman's – the woman at the door who was undoubtedly her mother – worry.

"Bethany, Elder Miriam has returned with some more poultices."

At those words the younger woman, the one named Bethany, lifted her gaze. The smile dying on her lips the second she noticed her presence.

"I believe I am indebted to you for helping me and my unborn child," she found herself saying, wanting to assure she meant no harm.

To say her contact with mages, least of all apostate mages, was limited would be a gross understatement. As the daughter of the Teryn of Highever it was practically nonexistent. All she knew of mages was from what she was taught. Yet like with the elves she couldn't help but feel for them, for their plight and especially for their loss. She could never begin to imagine what it would be like to be ripped away from her family and all that she knew. To know they were there but be unable to freely see them. Only now, with the loss of her own was she able to understand a mere modicum of what a great many mages have and will continue to suffer.

When all she got was a confused look Elissa bit her lip, suddenly unsure. It was only at the arrival of another woman, one who looked to be only but a few years older than Bethany, that she realized her mistake.

"Actually that would me that you are indebted to," the newcomer said with a quirk of her brows.

With a sure confidence and assurance in her stance that Bethany was yet to gain she coolly sauntered up to Elissa, relieving her of much of her load before indicating those on the left.

"Most of them are only suffering very minor injuries," she informed her. "If you can administer the poultices so that my sister and I are free to heal those in more immediate need we can help a lot more people here."

Not needing to be told twice Elissa gave her an understanding nod.

"Unfortunately I must make my leave," Elder Miriam apologetically told them. "There are still many that need to be seen to. Many in great need of shelter and food."

"May the Maker be with you and all those poor souls," the older woman, Bethany's and the newcomer's mother, wished as she went to close the door, ensuring it was secure before turning to Elissa and her daughters with a determined, "Let's get to it then."

With the help of Leandra, the siblings' mother, she immediately went to work on the lesser injuries of those around them. Administering the poultices and dressing the wounds as best she could with the few supplies at their disposal. As many came and went she was relieved to discover that those who had witnessed the abilities of the sisters had sworn themselves to secrecy, unwilling to give them up to the templars in gratitude for all their help. As the afternoon wore on and in spite of their rocky start she immediately warmed to the older woman. She wasn't quite sure what it was. Maybe it was the way the woman constantly worried over them all, making the time to ensure that neither her nor any of her daughters overexerted themselves and forcing them to rest whenever she deemed it necessary. Or maybe it was because of something as simple as the tone of her voice. Whatever it was Elissa found herself suddenly longing for her own mother.

"Are you okay my dear?" Leandra gently asked as they saw to the last of the injured.

"I am fine," she replied with weariness. "Thank you."

At the kindly smile she received she tried her hardest to keep her emotions at bay, only barely resisting the urge to cry as Bethany and her older sister, whose name she quickly learned was Marian, returned to the room.

"I don't know about any one else but I could really use a big, stiff-"

"Marian Hawke," Leandra cried, incensed.

"Drink, mother, I was going to say drink," Marian returned with a hint of cheek, her lips curving into an entirely too amused smirk.

Clearly use to her daughter's antics Leandra merely rolled her eyes and announced, "I am going to get started on dinner." She then turned to her with a gentle smile. "Elissa, my darling girl, do not even think of going anywhere."

Not even giving her a chance to decline she disappeared through the far doorway, closing the door to what she assumed was the kitchen, behind her.

"I really ca-" Elissa tried to say, only to be interrupted.

"Trust me, you really can," the eldest daughter, Marian, saw fit to tell her. "If you don't mother would only send us out to drag you back and force feed you if necessary. And I like you enough to not want to subject you to that indignity."

"I just… my brother," she began helplessly.

Realisation dawning Marian gently asked, "Your twin brother right? Aedan? The one that was to become a Grey Warden."

"Yes," she confirmed. Not at all surprised to learn of Marian's familiarity of brother. As the one who treated her there was no doubt in her mind of how much of a pill Aedan must have been towards the young mage. No doubt pestering her with question after questions concerning her every action as he hovered over them both like an overly concerned mother hen.

"Our brother, Bethany's twin, was in Ostagar as well," Marian offered with a weary sigh, the look in her eyes betraying the wryness of her demeanour. Sounding both fond and exasperation all at once she added, "I would worry but the fool is entirely too damn stubborn to die."

"Don't listen to her. She is ever bit as worried as we are," Bethany interjected. She gave her an emphatic look. "But I am sure he is fine. I do not know how to explain it but I know. I just know that he is still alive."

Having remembered uttering nearly the exact same words Elissa gave the younger woman a long look, feeling a sudden kinship with her as she said, "Because if he wasn't you would have known. You would have felt it."

"Exactly," Bethany smiled her agreement.

Releasing the breath she had not known she was holding Elissa smiled.

"Thank you," she found herself saying, feeling some of the tension coiling within her ease with those words. With just the thought of someone actually believing in her.

Clearly understanding her gratitude for what it was Bethany merely gave her a reassuring smile and simply said, "I am certain your brother is fine."

"As is yours," she returned, sincerely believing it to be true.

"Right, so this means you're staying then?" Marian pointedly asked, the grin on her lips taking the edge off the curtness of her question.

Turning to the elder Hawke sibling she smiled.

"I would be more than happy to," was her earnest reply.

* * *

Upon returning from her dinner with the Hawke family more than ever she was certain that Aedan was still alive. That he was on his way. And that she needed to be ready. Not only to leave Lothering behind but for what lay ahead. Not only for her, for them all. While she knew she would not be able to remain by his side for every step of the journey ahead she was determined to ensure her brother's safety. To ensure he only surrounded himself with the best. Accompanied by Dog and with nothing but the waning moon to guide her way she approached the cage by the North gate. Unlike her many visits before this time she did not bother with anonymity, did nothing more than walk right up to him.

"You are not one of my captors," the Qunari prisoner said, his tone betraying his weariness as he met her unflinching gaze with his own. Seeming to deem her unworthy of even a cursory glance he dismissingly intoned, "I will not amuse you any more than I have the other humans. Leave me in peace."

Not one to be so easily cowed she firmly replied, "I am not here to amuse myself."

"Then why are you here?" he simply demanded, eyes narrowing in what she did not doubt to be warranted suspicion.

"Here," she said as she undid the pack she was carrying and slid it between the bars.

Not even bothering to inspect what it contained he leveled her with a hard stare. No doubt having realized who she was he said, "I have accepted death as my atonement. You do nothing more than taunt me and prolong my suffering with this. With all your offerings previously."

"There are other ways to redeem yourself," she told him, grabbing a hold of the bars in her fervor. "If you are to die then let it be the death you deserve. Die as the warrior you are. If you are so quick to embrace death then you can do so by helping my brother defend the land against the Blight."

At that he frowned, "I take it your brother is a Grey Warden then."

"Yes he is," she answered and with a surety she felt with her every being added, "Probably the last one remaining in Ferelden and he is on his way here."

"You sound certain of this, yet I am led to believe the Wardens have all but perished."

Clenching her fists she stared at him hard. The realization of why he would be privy to such information making her coil with anger. Taunts.

"He is alive," she declared, knowing she was beginning to sound like a broken record but completely uncaring.

"And if he is not?"

"Then when the time comes you can have your atonement by helping the villagers. Help them to escape the darkspawn," she replied. With their King and armies defeated and Ostagar lost she was under no illusions as to what the fate of Lothering will be.

"What does your leader say of this?" he questioned evenly.

For a moment she frowned. Then realizing of whom it was he spoke of couldn't help but snort in a very unladylike fashion.

"The Revered Mother has left your fate to the Maker. I am a child of the Maker, if I decide to release you from this cage it will be because His will allowed me to find my way to you," was her simple reasoning. "Either way you will have your atonement. Whether it be at my brother's side against the Blight or fighting the darkspawn to help the very people you have wronged."

In the silence that followed he leveled her with an entirely too assessing stare. When under the glare of his scrutiny she did no more than return his gaze with determination if not outright defiance he gaze a barely perceptible nod.

"I find this arrangement… acceptable," he slowly said.

"Then eat. You will need your strength."

When she saw him pick up the pack she smiled and knowing that no more words were needed began to make her way back to the inn. Once in her room she fell to the mattress, completely exhausted by the day's events. Upon closing her eyes she was quickly lost to the Fade.

* * *

The moment she awoke Elissa felt a sudden wave of nausea overcome her. Reaching for the bucket she kept by her bedside for such an occurrence she quickly found herself heaving what little remained of the contents of her stomach. Only when she was sure her sickness had pass did she carefully place the bucket down and stumbled her way towards the basin of water, using it to wash her face and rid herself of the horrid taste lingering in her mouth. That done she got dressed, putting on one of the simple dresses she managed to get her hands on before making her way downstairs with Dog by her side.

Despite being filled with people, most of whom she knew to be refugees desperately clamoring for a place to stay, she somehow managed to easily spot the redheaded woman waiting for her in amongst the crowd. With a deep breath she approached her and greeted her with a simple, "Hi."

"Thank the Maker!" Leliana exclaimed, her relief evident as she pulled her into a hug. "Danal said you returned but I wasn't so sure, especially when I was unable to find you last night." Releasing her she paused for a moment. "I sincerely apologize for upsetting you. Believe me when I say that I did not mean to do so."

"I… it's okay," Elissa assured her. With a sigh she admitted, "I overreacted."

"Maybe. Maybe not. It does not matter. Right now the only thing that matters is that I was wrong for doubting you," Leliana told her, a smile on her lips.

Confused by the change in demeanor Elissa bit her lip and barely daring to hope warily asked, "What are you talking about?"

"A few of Loghain's men arrived this morn. They have been asking of all who would care listen for a man matching your brother's description."

"He's alive?" she gasped, barely able to believe it despite her own resolve.

Beaming Leliana happily confirmed, "Yes Elissa, Aedan lives. Just as you said."

Hardly able to believe it despite her own insistence Elissa felt her eyes water. Hating the fact that she had probably cried more in the last few days than she has in her entire life she furiously wiped at her eyes and tried for a smile. Just when she was certain she would burst from the overwhelming mix of joy and relief alone when there came a sudden commotion. With a loud bark Dog shot from her side, racing away and towards the source of the disturbance, finding his way into the fight that seemed to have broken out by the entrance to the inn. Her confusion quickly gave way to pure adulterated elation at the sight of her brother, whole and completely unharmed fighting against a group of soldiers alongside two others – a woman and a man.

As she was about to join Dog by jumping into the fray she felt a hand on her arm, halting her before she could get as far as step. Less than pleased by the interference she turned to Leliana with a wild look and was just about to snap at her when she was interrupted by a chiding reminder of, "You are not even armed."

Realising she was right Elissa reluctantly backed down and was forced to watch as the redhead sister she counted as a friend rushed over to assist. With two highly skilled warriors, a more than capable mage and a rogue in their party the four along with the aid of her fierce Mabari war hound, were able to make short work of the soldiers. When finally the fight ended with her brother allowing the injured men to leave with their lives she watched as he spoke to Leliana. The instant he turned to her, his eyes catching hers from all the way across the room she was unable to contain herself any longer. Unable to stop the tears she ran to him and completely uncaring of everything around her she threw herself into his arms, burying her face against the hard metal of his armour as her body wracked with sobs.

"Hey, stop that," Aedan gently hushed, trying his hardest to soothe away her tears even as he held onto her just as desperately as she did him. "I promised I'd find my way back to you didn't I."

Not sure if she was laughing or crying or maybe doing a little of both she pulled away from him. For some reason thinking it was a good idea she hit his chest and ignoring the sting of her palm as it impacted against his armor she cried, "Don't you ever do that to me again."

Smiling down at her Aedan gently took her arm and guiding her towards his companions said, "I have much to tell you but first I want you to meet my companions. This is my fellow Grey Warden A-"

The instant she turned she instantly froze. Before she could stop herself a shocked murmur of, "Alistair" escaped her lips.

Expression mirroring hers, the man with her brother, the one who fought alongside him only moment's ago returned her murmur with one of his own, "Elie."

Clearly confused Aedan looked between them and with a frown asked, "Do you two know each other?"

"No," Elissa said the same moment Alistair replied with an adamant, "Yes."

Eyes narrowing rather than trying to get an answer out of her he instead turned to the clearly shell-shocked man and demanded, "When and how did you meet my sister?"

Too stunned to realise his life was on the line Alistair truthfully answered, "About two months ago. In Denerim."

At that he turned to her. The look on her face must of said it all because before either of them could comprehend what was happening Aedan swung, his gauntlet hitting his fellow Warden hard across the face. The force of which was enough to send the larger man staggering back with a pained wince. To her horror rather than leaving it just at that he drew his sword.

"You will take responsibility for your actions," her brother demanded of the clearly confused man. Then bringing his blade up to Alistair's bared throat in a clear threat all but order, "You will marry my sister."


End file.
